Letter

So i found a letter i wrote to myself last summer.

You want to hear it?

Jess,

You know all the reasons you're doing this.

You hear them every time you say no to snacks or tell mum you wont be in for dinner.

There are days though where that voice seems a little fainter and your body wont stop reaching for the poison the devil placed in your path to perfection.

For those moments this letter is here; lock yourself in your room, put on a movie, read this letter and think of the future.

Don't you want the perfect appearance? All those Thinspo pictures, don't you want to be one of them?

The little thighs wrapped in denim shorts and knee high socks, the kind of girl that makes guys want to fall at your feet.

You think you'll remember what that cheese tasted like or what flavor crisps they were a month from now?

No you wont, but you will remember what your boyfriends smile looks like when he see's you and how he touches like he cant have enough of you. You'll know how it feels to see that magic number, 100lbs, on the scales and how flat your tummy is. You wont remember how painful those last few crunches were or the late night running but you'll know how it feels for that guy to pick you up with such ease as if you were floating and to be able to walk into any shop and wear everything that takes your fancy. you want that, you've wanted that all your life.

You realise that if you give in now you'll never have that, ever. The food cant force its way in, the only way it can keep you from what you want is if you let it, mind over matter Jess. You're the strong one, everyone knows that and as much as it doesn't feel like it at times you've already proved you have the willpower, that's how you got this far.

The willpower hasn't gone, its still here you just have to find it, dig deep Jess, its not for very much longer.

Much love, Be Strong. Jessica xoxo